In between January and February 2016, i was heading for a nervous breakdown ; beside my manic depression there was the “daily and nightly” unbeareable disturbances coming from my noisy neighbors with whom i had many violent arguments leading to an “everyday tension” between us. They became my nemeses.
I was so much irritated that i couldn’t tolerate any sign of life coming out from them ; I was like asphyxiated and tormented, not only by their sounds (shouting and disputing) but also by the vibrations that my body felt every time they dropped something heavy on the floor or let their children run and play or slammed their doors.
Worst of it when i discovered that i was deeply affected by these disturbances even while being in a quiet place away from home, as i became paranoid and torn apart between the unbearable silence and the “imaginary disturbances" that would break that silence. (Part of) the solution finally came by discovering the benefits of the “white noise” as i adapted myself to sleep on it with my headphones on.
Back then i had in mind to make a series of photos that expresses and exorcises my crisis (despite all the pressure i was under, i had begun to imagine these ideas/pictures that finally made their way into that body of work). But i was unable to work before i see a neurologist who finally and thankfully healed me with a long term treatment.
It appeared to me also that distance was necessary to make this work more thoughtful.
So here they are : images that deal with obsession and paranoia coming from the fear of noise.
“L’imagination est un bruiteur, elle doit amplifier ou assourdir. Une fois l’imagination maîtresse des correspondances dynamiques, les images parlent vraiment.” Gaston Bachelard, L’Eau et les Rêves.
All my thanks and gratitude to the Rahmani Family for giving me all the troubles that helped creating this work.
This series is related to my previous one called “I kiss holes for the bullets - A map of self depression” and is part (along with two mini series) of an ongoing project to be called “Inner”.